Can you keep your balance?

So how do you get that balance between having a healthy, happy relationship with your significant other AND your friends? That has been my struggle as of lately. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I just don't care. And other times I want to make everything right. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible to have it all. I wish I could say that there is a way, but no matter what there will be hurt feelings, people feeling left out, not enough time spent together, etc, etc... I blame it on not having enough time in the day. Haha. Obviously, that is not something I can fix, so we can forget that.

I feel that I've kinda been on both sides of this issue.
I've been the single one, while most of my friends around me had a significant other. And yes, I didn't see some of them as much as I was used to before. It is difficult to be understanding about it because you just want to hang out with your friend! I would think "My goodness! Don't you see your boyfriend enough? Can't you spend more time with meeee?" (Doesn't it seem like every issue in life is about what makes "me" feel better? Human beings are so selfish. Me included. It's sad.)

And now here I am, on the other side. Do I see my boyfriend every day? Yup. Do I see my friends a lot less? Yup. And why is that??? I don't quite have the answer. But I think I understand it a lot better now that I am in the relationship I am in now. It's not that I want to lose my friends, or be less of a friend to them. (I mean who wants to get the love of their life & then have no friends to be in the wedding? Haha.) I think some people get lucky & find that person that they want to spend their time with. The person that makes you happy & makes you want to be better for them. And should you get to the point where that thing called marriage comes into the picture... that person is the one you are "stuck" with for the rest of your life. Not your friends. Yes, every relationship is different. Some people don't need to see each other everyday to be happy - but my opinion is that healthy, strong relationships take effort & work, which requires time put in.

Now don't get me wrong... it's not like you shouldn't have that outlet of having friends. Friends are extremelyyyyy important. You shouldn't push them aside or sweep them under a rug. You shouldn't just disappear & not be there for a friend, and expect them to be there for you when you need them. I would hope that my friends would know I will continue to be there for them whenever they need me, even if I am in a relationship. I have friends who I feel are true & genuine and I would never want to lose them. And I think - at least in my case - I know that each of my friends has been in a similar situation as me, where I have lost touch with them at some point in time. So I think some people are more understanding than others. I think it just takes extra effort - with both parties - to keep the friendship strong.

It seems like there is this big shift as soon as a person gets in a relationship. I feel like you get excluded from things. Suddenly all responsibility seems to sit on the person in the relationship to make any plans to hang out, or be the one to pick up the phone to call. I also think that it seems like you can't hang out as a group. I think that is why couples tend to start to hang with other couples. It's almost like there is less pressure. And you can all hang out without anyone feeling 'left out'. I don't think this is how it has to be. It just seems like it is.

I wish all relationships in life could be like a family relationship. It's no pressure, unconditional love & understanding. I find myself hanging around the house more, and I like it. No matter what these are the people going to be there for me through thick & thin. I don't have to feel like I'm the worst person if I don't call them one day, or that it's my sole responsibility to keep the relationship strong.

So what's the solution to it all? I have no idea. I sort of feel like I'm a unique point in my life. In some ways, I feel I am at a much different stage than some of my friends, which causes the distance. But I'm still going to try to work it out.... with everyone. Hopefully, I'll get a little help though because the stress may kill me. :)