I can see a light that is coming... for the heart that holds on.

I really don't like when I have days like today. Days where I am just cranky for NO reason. Everything and everyone just annoys me. It was really hard to shake out of my funk... but thankfully I did!

Thank God for my mom who will just hug me & let me vent. Thank God for my boyfriend who calls to tell me how he is going to save money - just because he knows that will make me happy. Thank God for Panera Bread. Thank God for genuine, loving, awesome friends who always seem to brighten my day. Basically just THANK GOD! :)

I suppose there is always a rainbow at the end of every storm :)

Every word feels like a shooting star.

Today I have been enjoying some good music. I have such a great appreciation for singers - probably because that is one thing that I wished I was. I have been watching all these videos of Kara DioGuardi. As much as she annoys me sometimes on American Idol (haha), she is a truly amazing singer! Just effortless, natural talent.

There is something about acoustic songs too that really gets me. It's like you can truly feel the emotion of the song, which I adore. That is why I love music so much. Great songs can express all your emotions better than just saying the words. For me, music is like my medicine. If I'm sad, it allows me to grieve or it can make me feel better. A song can lift my mood, release my anger, or put me into total relaxation... all in a matter of minutes. How powerful is that! Gosh, I wish I had that talent. I would use it all the time. :)

Here is a video of Kara singing a song called "Terrified" (fyi: song doesn't start till about 2 minutes in).

* Under Construction *

I plan on reviving my blog soon. Stay posted!!! :)

I love you & that's all I really know. :)

I have been a Taylor Swift fan since she first became big, but looking at her myspace (via twitter) makes me love her more because she isn't fake or letting stardom go to her head. She is a 19 year old girl who happens to be famous & she likes to share with the world what that is like. She makes these videos with her friends, family, people on tour with her, etc.. just hanging out (and always plays the best songs). She is a huge goofball & I could totally picture me & my friends doing similar stuff. Ha. Anyway.. if you love Taylor, check out her fun videos:
http://www.myspace.com/taylorswift



And I am determined to go see her when she is in the vicinity... either Grand Rapids, Cleveland or Indianapolis. I will go alone if I have to. :)

she grew up on the side of the road.. where the church bells ring & strong love grows

I initially wrote this post on 5/4/09. Haha.
But I'll just change things up & post it now (1/27/10) because I'm bored. :)

What's your current obsession?
Lady Antebellum's song "American Honey". I keep listening to it over & over & over... :)
And my other obsession right now is finding a job.. and researching my future.

What's your favorite piece of jewelry you own?
My cross necklace Ricky bought me.. and the ring he bought me... and my "M" necklace I got for high school graduation. Plain and simple.

What are you wearing today?
Right now I have on Truman sweatpants and a SEMCA t-shirt. Representin'!

Why is today special?
Because it's another day that I am alive & well. :)

What would you like to learn to do?
There are so many things.... off the top of my head... skateboard, snowboard, drive a stick shift, play piano, cook, dance... etc.. etc..

What's for dinner today?
I had one piece of Marina's pizza... it was only okay because my brother got it with green peppers & onions - yuck! So I had to try to pick it off. And now I'm still hungry.

What's the last thing you bought?
Subway at lunch.

What's your favorite weather?
I like spring weather. Not too hot, not too cold. Sometimes a warm, rainy day. And I also looove summer nights. :)

What's your most challenging goal right now?
Haha... well the challenge of making money, trying to find a steady job (preferably that will give me good experience), and taking steps to get myself into a grad program.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Wow. Good question. I haven't seen everywhere, so it's hard to pick somewhere without knowing. I would probably pick somewhere in the USA because I don't know that I could go too far away from my family right now.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
Something good to eat & drink. And some cookies. Lol.

What would you like to get rid of?
Money problems. (and my stress since it's causing cold sores & bad skin ew)

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Somewhere warm. Right at this very moment, I'd like to be in Australia.

What's your favorite thing about the city you live in?
Oh tough one. Overall, I think my city is pretty decent... I guess I'll pick our famous Heritage Park. It's cute.

If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?
A small getaway for the boyfriend & I. I think we deserve it. Haha.

Do you admire anyone's style?
Not really any one person in particular. I have ZERO style so I like lots of people.

Describe your personal style.
Casual & comfortable. I guess. I need a personal stylist. Real bad.

What is your favorite way to spend a day off from work?
Laying in bed watching my favorite shows. Lol. Lameeee, but true.

What are three live shows that you have seen?
Oh geez you only want me to pick 3?? Okay, I'll try to pick 3 very different ones.. Coldplay (twice), Ashlee Simpson (twice), and Kenny Chesney (twice).

Who's your savior?

I know this story is somewhat old news... but I'm glad it is still getting talked about.
Last night on ESPN, they had a special called Homecoming with Josh Hamilton. It was awesome to hear his story & I'm so happy that he is sharing it. There is no explanation as to why he became clean, except that, like he said, "It's a God thing." :)

Proof that hope is never lost

seems so simple...

I found God at the corner of First & Amistad.

This past weekend was Easter weekend. To me, the most important weekend of my faith. And both services I went to were great. I love how every year at this time, it seems to really hit home for me and many others of how important (and gratifying) it is to keep your faith strong. Obedience to God will result in an awesome life filled with love, joy, fulfillment and peace. :)


P.S. Thank you Jesus! :)

Can you keep your balance?

So how do you get that balance between having a healthy, happy relationship with your significant other AND your friends? That has been my struggle as of lately. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I just don't care. And other times I want to make everything right. But, to be honest, I don't think it is possible to have it all. I wish I could say that there is a way, but no matter what there will be hurt feelings, people feeling left out, not enough time spent together, etc, etc... I blame it on not having enough time in the day. Haha. Obviously, that is not something I can fix, so we can forget that.

I feel that I've kinda been on both sides of this issue.
I've been the single one, while most of my friends around me had a significant other. And yes, I didn't see some of them as much as I was used to before. It is difficult to be understanding about it because you just want to hang out with your friend! I would think "My goodness! Don't you see your boyfriend enough? Can't you spend more time with meeee?" (Doesn't it seem like every issue in life is about what makes "me" feel better? Human beings are so selfish. Me included. It's sad.)

And now here I am, on the other side. Do I see my boyfriend every day? Yup. Do I see my friends a lot less? Yup. And why is that??? I don't quite have the answer. But I think I understand it a lot better now that I am in the relationship I am in now. It's not that I want to lose my friends, or be less of a friend to them. (I mean who wants to get the love of their life & then have no friends to be in the wedding? Haha.) I think some people get lucky & find that person that they want to spend their time with. The person that makes you happy & makes you want to be better for them. And should you get to the point where that thing called marriage comes into the picture... that person is the one you are "stuck" with for the rest of your life. Not your friends. Yes, every relationship is different. Some people don't need to see each other everyday to be happy - but my opinion is that healthy, strong relationships take effort & work, which requires time put in.

Now don't get me wrong... it's not like you shouldn't have that outlet of having friends. Friends are extremelyyyyy important. You shouldn't push them aside or sweep them under a rug. You shouldn't just disappear & not be there for a friend, and expect them to be there for you when you need them. I would hope that my friends would know I will continue to be there for them whenever they need me, even if I am in a relationship. I have friends who I feel are true & genuine and I would never want to lose them. And I think - at least in my case - I know that each of my friends has been in a similar situation as me, where I have lost touch with them at some point in time. So I think some people are more understanding than others. I think it just takes extra effort - with both parties - to keep the friendship strong.

It seems like there is this big shift as soon as a person gets in a relationship. I feel like you get excluded from things. Suddenly all responsibility seems to sit on the person in the relationship to make any plans to hang out, or be the one to pick up the phone to call. I also think that it seems like you can't hang out as a group. I think that is why couples tend to start to hang with other couples. It's almost like there is less pressure. And you can all hang out without anyone feeling 'left out'. I don't think this is how it has to be. It just seems like it is.

I wish all relationships in life could be like a family relationship. It's no pressure, unconditional love & understanding. I find myself hanging around the house more, and I like it. No matter what these are the people going to be there for me through thick & thin. I don't have to feel like I'm the worst person if I don't call them one day, or that it's my sole responsibility to keep the relationship strong.

So what's the solution to it all? I have no idea. I sort of feel like I'm a unique point in my life. In some ways, I feel I am at a much different stage than some of my friends, which causes the distance. But I'm still going to try to work it out.... with everyone. Hopefully, I'll get a little help though because the stress may kill me. :)

FYI

It's a big, slushy, snowy mess outside. Ugh. Gross.

And yes, it is April 6th. That's Michigan for ya.

This is my prayer in the desert. When all that's within me feels dry.

My whole life it seems like everyone else has known what they wanted to do, but me. They know their path in life, they know their talent - their gift to the world. But what is mine? I seriously have no idea. I really don't think I have a talent. Haha.
What is even scarier is that in just over a month, I'm going to be graduated (minus the one course that I must take in the spring). I will have that bachelor's degree! Woo! But.. for what? Haha. Funny, but not at all.
Don't get me wrong. I know there is a plan for me. (Jeremiah 29:11) I have a destiny. I just can't help but feel a little impatient because I haven't been let in on what EXACTLY that is!
Sometimes I see opportunities... but I don't take that leap. Sometimes I feel I missed my chance. But that can't be right... right? I just haven't felt strongly about anything in particular... like this is what I am supposed to be doing. Nope, never felt that way.
Come on... can't I get a little help? Please. :)

You're Beautiful.

For some reason, I can't find this song anywhere..
this has been the only video I can find where I can listen to it.
I heard it for the first time at epic quite some time ago.
Anyway.. it's an amazing worship song that I love & wanted to share.

Let's get out of this town.

Less than 2 days till I will be in Florida.

I am so excited for...

the Tigers games we will be going to...

Sunshine & palm trees...

Relaxing on the beach...
(it's a MUST since my boy has never been to the ocean!)

And flying. And getting out of this state. And spending time with my family. And the smell of the ocean air. And the 80 degree weather. And the orange trees. And Chick-Fil-A.
And the list goes on...

I'm free to be me.

On rare occasions, I just have one of those awful days. Where nothing seems to go right. And even when you think it's turned around, something else happens to make it go back down the wrong road again.
But at the end of the day, when I'm here resting, relaxing, reflecting... everything is still okay.

I'm learning a hard lesson lately.. that sometimes you just can't please everyone. No matter how hard I try. I only have so much time in a day. I spread myself too thin a lot of times & it causes so much stress on me.. unnecessary stress. I may not always make the right decisions, but the people that are there for you at the end of the day, the ones that stick by your side (even if you may not always be around or able to give them 100%) are the ones who are true & genuine and meant to be in your life. I may not end up with everyone I expected or hope for in the end... but I know I've always got my God, my family, and my sugar. Thanks.


Approx. 7 days, 19 hours till we are in Floridaaa. Oh how I need this getaway.

Another fav video of mine. :)

I need to find me a black church to go to. Great singing, and 120% excitement for God every week. How awesome would that be! Haha.

40 days and 40 nights

Although I grew up in the Catholic Church and have celebrated the concept of Lent my whole life, I still don't have a complete understanding. I guess it's understandable considering not all Christian denominations practice Lent, and each has their own way. It's odd because now that I don't quite follow the "Catholic ways" and have found my faith can be strong in other ways.. Lent makes more sense to me...

The 40 days is symbolic to the days Jesus spent in the tomb. Many say that Lent is a time to prepare for the death & resurrection of Jesus on Easter (which is the most important holiday in the Christian religion). A person may 'prepare' by fasting or prayer. To me, when people choose to give up something during this time (an addiction or negative thing in their life) it is a symbol of their dedication to Jesus and his ways. He suffered for us, so as a believer, I feel like I can "suffer" for Him in a small way.

Soooo I have chose to give up Facebook & MySpace for Lent. Honestly, I feel quite lame to even have to do that. But I've found just in the short time that has passed that I do spend quite some time on there. I do it just because I'm bored, but in reality, there are much more productive things I can do with my time. No one thinks I can do it, but I really don't think it's going to be that hard. I'm quite excited to prove that I'm stronger than everyone thinks. :)


Okay there is one exception - I can go on MySpace on Sundays to check on my brother. He is far away in Denver & I like to stay updated and he posts pics. But I haven't even done that yet.

525,600 minutes....

What an absolute rollercoaster my life has been the past 4 days.
I blame anatomy for the complete breakdown & endless tears... the emotions all over the place.
I'm not used to the drops... the lows where you feel like you will never see another light at the end of the tunnel. I just felt like a complete let down to so many. And really... I don't know. Those 3 words sum it up.


But I don't like to concentrate on the negative for too long....
Soo.. the upside of things:

• Rent at the Opera House - interesting, fun. I enjoy the theatre scene (for the most part).
• So very close to finally choosing to be a 'member' of a church (again)!!
• Booked a flight to Florida :)
• Classes are going fabulously.
• And I love the daily reminders of how lucky I am to have him in my life. (132)

Every generation refreshes the world.

Pepsi always makes the best commercials. I think this one is SO awesome. :)

Let the rain come down.

For some reason, I've always liked the rain. Well, let me clarify.. rain when it is somewhat warm outside (ha). Like today. I loved today's weather. Don't get me wrong - I do love my sunny days. And I'm really not a depressing person. There is just something about those rainy days that put me in such a good mood. Maybe I should move to Seattle.....



And of course..
<-- this is always fun. :)

Guess who's back back back... back again again again??

BLINK 182 IS BAAACKKK!!!

And yes Travis will be able to make music with a broken arm. I saw him play a whole show with a broken thumb. Talented? Yes, I know.